Yours Honestly

‘Honesty is the best policy’ is a time tested adage. What exactly honesty is? If honesty is doing one’s work with utmost sincerity, not indulging in any sort of double dealing, maintaining loyalty in relationships and always telling the truth then yes, I am honest to the core.

But if honesty includes unanimity of the tongue and the mind then I have second thoughts about my integrity. Let me explain my point with some examples.

At office when I am overwhelmed with work and my boss comes out with a trivial work that can be happily postponed for tomorrow all I exclaim is - sure sir. What I want to say is ‘Hey have you ever heard about a thing called priority? Of course you haven’t otherwise you would never have brought such a piece of crap to my desk.

Sometimes when the computer breaks down or the electricity goes out in the middle of something I just let out a sigh and express my helplessness in a ladylike manner. Thank heavens nobody hears me mutter the cuss words that are my spontaneous reaction to the situation.

Once I was dining out with my colleagues when one of them complained about me not talking enough. I had to say something in my defence so I admitted coyly I am an introvert. Though I wanted to tell what was going inside my head- Who the hell wants to get involved in such boring discussions with you?  

Don’t expect me to giggle on silly topics or backbite about other people or whine about why everything wrong happens with us. Raise the level of your conversations girl.

 Many a times when one of my friends comments on my weight, especially at a time when I am satisfied with my ongoing diet regime, I feel like slapping her hard. She announces with narcissism disguised as sympathy ‘Vandana you have gained weight!’ The outer me just smiles and says she is right. The inner me retorts: mind your own business if you have any… my dear undisputed Miss Universe. Oh by the way what’s that ugly thing on your head? Was that supposed to be a bun?  Maybe it underwent a mutation.

One thing I despise is long conversations over the telephone and even over chatting on social networking sites. Yes I keep on talking. No! Actually listening to every minute detail of what my friends had for breakfast, lunch & dinner and or what the friends of my friends are planning to do in the forthcoming vacations. I admit that I am at fault here. I should tell my pals straightaway if I am not in a position to talk e.g I cannot tell you whether my husband is romantic when I am sitting in front of an inspecting officer at my workplace.

Hellooww…I am a busy girl and not a babbler like you. It is because of people like you that girls are notorious for being dim-witted chatter boxes.

Last but not the least are the relatives that give so much freedom to their kids that they become intolerable to others. Look, I might say a ‘how cute’ on your face or have a laugh with you when you unapologetically dismiss your child’s unacceptable demeanor as a sweet feature inherited from his father. But one day I might give him a sound thrashing to teach him how to behave in public.

Many times I decide that I will be clear-cut and speak out what I really feel but I let go when I realize that the main reason behind my so called dishonest behavior is not that I am a double faced person but that I do not want to hurt others even if they are stupid and unbearable at times.